WHY WE GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP PART 2 (OFFICIAL_POPE 1)

In part one (1) of how we go into relationship, we talk more on basic principles and values. We will now emphasized more on the love we show or how individual being Feels when with his or her partner. In this edition two, we will talk more and get to know how important or the usefulness in relational world. It follows by;

Two people may decide to form a relationship because of common interests. They may be studying the same subject or pursuing the same goals in life. They may give each other mental stimulation and satisfaction. They may have similar professional goals and work together, helping and complimenting each other. This could be in anything from their own perspective of mind and thought.

A primary force in bringing people together in marriage is the subconscious or conscious desire to create and care for children. Through children we manifest our continuation. We offer to society human potential for the future. We also frequently seek to gain self affirmation through their achievements. In some cases, we may also hope they will support and protect us when age makes us less capable.

We are also attracted to someone because he or she embodies qualities which we admire or which supplement our personality. If we are overly emotional, we might be attracted to a person who is more subdued and rational. If the opposite, we might be attracted to a person who freely expresses his or her emotions.

Another factor which some might feel has played a role in their coming together is that of fate or destiny. We may feel that we were supposed to be together. We feel Eros feelings of infatuation or of being in love. These strong feelings create in us a need to be with the other and to unite our lives. Thanks for reading.

By Larbi Pope Williams

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WHY WE GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP PART 1 (OFFICIAL_POPE 1)

In order to create conscious love relationships, you need to understand the motives and needs which now cause us to form relationships.

We enter into relationships for the same reason we do everything else in our lives: because we are motivated by our needs. We seek out others in order to fulfill our unfulfilled needs. Alone we feel empty. We hope to complete ourselves through our relationships.

We now wants to discuss the importance of entering into a relational world.

1. One of our most basic needs is to feel secure. We feel more secure and safe when we are with someone. I have heard people who fear being alone at night in a remote house admit that they feel safer even if there is an infant with them. Obviously, this infant will not protect them from any danger. We can see how important it is for us to feel that we are with someone else.
For most of us, it is not sufficient that a person is with us now. In order to feel secure, we want to know that he or she will be with us forever. This is one of the reasons we give so much importance to exclusivity in our relationships. If the person on whom we are dependent for our feelings of security begins to show attention to others, we tend to fear that we may lose him or her and thus our security. Such fear and jealousy is common when we are children and often continues in relationship our close friends.
2. Another reason we fear our loved one’s giving attention to others is that we are programmed to believe that we then lose our self worth. The reasoning is that we believe we are worthy of love when there is at least one person in this world who loves only us. We feel worthy and important because this person sees us as special and loves only us. If suddenly he or she also loves someone else, we feel intimidated.
Another factor and example is a man feels that he loses his manliness if a woman leaves him for another. Most women believe they lose their self worth if their partner shows interest in another woman.
3. Another powerful attractive force in the formation of relationships is the need for affection and physical and or sexual contact. This need for contact, intimacy with another being exits on many levels: biological, emotional, mental, spiritual, and for the balancing. Thus we seek someone with whom we can share our affection, intimacy and energy.
4. Another reason we form relationships is to recreate familiar emotional exchanges that we experienced as children. We are often subconsciously attracted to someone who will sooner or later behave like one of our parents. We complain that we escaped from this negative behavior in our parents and now we find the same behavior in our partners. This has to do with our subconscious need as adults to learn the lessons involved in confronting such behavior.
It would be best not to complain about this situation, but rather to ask, what is life trying to teach me here? What do I need to learn so that I can transform this negativity into a conscious love?
5. Less frequently today than in the past, some still may also choose a spouse who is socially superior in order to gain prestige and power through this connection. Social dictates can sometimes be a motivating force in marriage. This is especially true in some countries of the world where women are submitted to great pressure to marry before they reach a certain age, such country Ghana specifically west Africa and Africa as a whole.

Thank you for reading

By Larbi Pope Williams

HOW IMPORTANT FIGHTING IS IN RELATIONSHIP. ( MR POPE )

Respect is the defining variable. As long as partners respect each other,fighting in and of itself is not a threat to the relationship. If you are afraid of conflict and strong negative emotions, then your relationship can’t go far and below are my Intel or secret about how important fighting is in relationship.( My secret)

Fighting in relational world strengthens the relationship by increasing trust,confidence, commitment and happiness. Many don’t think fighting in relationship is a good sign,sometimes when argument happens and occurred, it makes both partner realise how important you value things and knows much when entering or taking the next step in life,perhaps marriage. Fighting makes it easier to know each person vulnerable or weakest side. In our relational world, we ought to understand that everything happen for a reason,and you might not know if it can lead you to somewhere.

Another fact that makes fighting in relationship good is,it makes you will feel better, many out there will not understand the betterment of this whole deal in relationship but fighting in relationships is good and you feel ease. Feeling better in sense of realising both mistakes and making an amendment. After they fought, both partner become furious and will be quiet for a few hours or less.

They feel better for long nagging, argument and abusive words from each other and to crown it all; feeling normal.

I love this thought because it helps me whenever i’m fighting, nagging and making unnecessary complains with my FIANCÉE. My thought is, your partner will know your thoughts, feelings and opinions. Is very true in relational world, many relationship personnel’s have been fighting, arguing and insulting each other due to lack of feelings, thoughts and opinions. Everyone has a point and to make the relationship worked, but the other partner has different perspective of thought and opinions in mind. Fighting will helped unravel such opinions. And in clear state the partner will now be aware of the crisis in the relationship and settle their problems amicably henceforth. So fighting is a good sign in relationship, because no relationship is problem FREE.

Intimacy increasing is one major act or play which happen when both partner’s in relationship quarrel and fight. When a relationship lack intimacy it makes it stagnant and unhealthy for both to live in. I assure you that many relationship are falling or draining along due to non chemistry intimacy and fighting along will make things worse. When you fight or quarrel in relationship, it makes the word intimate mature and both partner link together.

Your partner is a separate individual, Improves your character and It is human you can stop trying to be PERFECT, AND NO PROBLEM FREE IN RELATIONSHIP.

I hope I have demonstrated that fighting is a useful function for healthy relationships. When done skillfully, an opportunity for a greater understanding and love for your partner is possible. Talking about it is easy, Doing is difficult, #Blessings

Larbi Pope Williams

(Relationship Therapist)

5 HABITS OF A SUCCESSFUL SPOUSE ( ONLY MARRIED PERSONNEL AND THOSE DATING TO MARRIAGE)

1. They keep up with the changes. A friend of mine once said, “People change and forget to tell each other.” When it comes to marriage or relationship, that can be risky. The most successful partners really take note of each other’s changes. They do not assume their partner is the same person he or she was years ago, even if there are many similarities. What’s more, they take the time to learn their partner’s goals, dreams, and future plans. By keeping in touch with who their partner is at this moment and looking ahead to who he might become they secure a truly intimate relationship.

2. They know how to fight fairly. It’s not that happy partners never argue. Most partners have disagreements. But in a mature relationship, power isn’t defined by winning an argument or getting one’s way. True power comes from knowing how to discuss differences fully and honestly. If you demean your partner when you disagree, and if, at the end of an argument, you do not feel stronger and more intimate than you did before you started you are not building a stronger, more loving relationship. Successful relationship know how to argue with class and dignity. They may disagree, but in the end, they end up understanding and respecting their differences. Thanks

3. They find new ways to play. All the research on marital and relational satisfaction shows that partners bond more closely when they do new, innovative activities instead of getting stuck in the same rut they’ve been in for the few years. Whether it is learning how to get together, opening an inn, or simply helping each other create a healthier lifestyle, any kind of new, enjoyable pursuit can make a couple that feels younger and more in sync and can invigorate their love.

4. They accept the challenges of aging. In good relationships, partners accept that vulnerability comes with the years. They take care of one another as they deal with physical challenges of aging and feelings of mortality. They share their thoughts on what lies ahead, and they have a rock solid belief that their partner will be there for them no matter what happens. The mature partners who face the future as true collaborators and helpmates forge an amazing relationship.

5. They stay physically connected. Demonstrations of affection and attraction never go out of style and neither does sex. Older couples or partners who still touch, kiss, snuggle and, yes, create an erotic environment are a complete package. Granted, things change: Illness, medication and life crises might get in the way of the kind of passionate romance you had more years ago. But the happiest couples are those who have found a way to combat the physical and emotional obstacles and maintain a physically satisfying and sensual relationship. It’s an essential component to keeping the connection alive and strong. Thanks for reading


By Larbi Pope Williams

HEART BREAK IS A GOOD SIGN IN RELATIONSHIP. ( POPE 1)

Have you ever had your heart smashed into pieces? We all have. Sadly for me years back I Larbi Pope Williams recently, it was my turn to remember what it’s like to have a broken heart. I experienced the end of a long-term relationship with a very special girl, and I love her.
Reflecting back on the situation, I and you realised that there had to be a reason for this to happen; there had to be a higher purpose and a good sign to go into such trauma. While it’s too soon to fully understand the situation, we are choosing to take the positive road.
It’s easy to get caught up in the emotion and the sadness. In the end, sadness is a choice that we can choose to make. We have to decide not to act out the way most people go through breakups and try to put an entirely different spin on it.
What if the only two people, for Example Williams and Esther, that understand the pains that both went through in their relationship. Did both hurt or just a single partner hurt? Ask your self this question!
What if we could both help each other through the pain because we are the only two people on the planet, at this point in time, who are in the exact same situation? That’s the power of heart broke. Both get to understand all.
I decided this was the best way to deal with the situation. The best panacea to the pain was to focus my energy on the other person’s, to distract myself from my own pain. Time heals everything.
Heart break is a good sign and ways of improving certain thing in relational world. Don’t think your partner is wicked to put you in such trauma and emotional stress. Sometimes let go him or her to improve upon your perspective idea and nature. She betray you, she leaves you and leave you to another guy. He leaves you right in his room,and you cried,wept and furiously went out from him room. My dear,is the best way to live in this cruel world. Don’t give up, is the best way and all u can say is a heart break. Is a good sign. Someone is waiting for you, he or she have been waiting for you years. Now is the time to for the right marriage, relationship and dating.
Henceforth, things will work out for you and you will soon forget about your past and move on…..HEART BREAK IS A GOOD SIGN IN RELATIONSHIP

. Thanks for reading

By Larbi Pope Williams.

HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER CHEATING(OFFICIAL_POPE1)

So, your partner has cheated on you? It’s but obvious that you are feeling hurt and sad right now. Maybe you are really angry with your partner and are thinking of ways to get back at him or her Or, you are so depressed right now that nothing seems right in your life. Going through such a torture of emotions is pretty normal, considering the unexpected situation you find yourself in. However, if you are still in love with your partner and a life without him or her seems unthinkable to you, the first thing that you should do, to save your relationship, is to forgive your partner, to err is human, to forgive is divine. I know, this can be very difficult at the moment, still, if you are serious about making a life with him or and you see a future with him or her by your side, forgive and forget whatever has happened. Forgiveness is analytical and good idea for both partners when things get tough for both. Communication is another fact to consider when both are in such situation, you need to communicate effectively, talk,laugh, giggle and make things work again. No relationship is problem free, you can fight, argue, quarrel or even throw punches on both,but this ain’t gonna stop you from going through a lot of trauma or quitting. As new or old relationship partners, I will advise you spend time together. Cool places, such as basketball Court, normal spot and a reserve parks etc is some cool places to spend time together. Ladies loves been around with their guys always. One cheat on other and it has brought destruction to both partners, but if you spend time together, things won’t go to an extend. Lastly I will advised to for relationship personnel make changes and help each other. If one is capable of counseling other, it might help those weak in relational world active and will not go contrary to the rules and regulations abided by both. Try to help guy/lady. Is obvious you you having a rough time as partners. Change your personal attitude that you lure in which make you to cheat your partner.

Thanks for reading… God bless you.

By Larbi Pope Williams